The 100: Chapter Three (Guards are Dicks)

Just as an aside, thought you might like to know: I was working on this at work today, and on my lunch, right after I finished this section, I walked into the break room to find a bunch of my coworkers sitting around making fun of a rerun of "My Sister's Keeper" that was playing on TV 2. It was like the universe's way of telling me either: "you're doing a good thing, here, meg" or "just shut the fuck up already, clearly nobody cares," I'm not too sure yet. I'll let you know, probably. 

So, Bellamy Blake! What a surprise to absolutely nobody that I love the shit out of this idiot.

So this one is kind of a flash in the pan. Interesting stuff, but very quick: it’s only eight pages, and cuts off a little too soon, for the sake of a cheap cliffhanger, but whatever. Bellamy Blake. What an asshole. I love him.

We start off with some heavy physical description, heavier than we’ve seen in either Wells’ or Clarke’s chapters. Presumably, because Bellamy is more observant, is my guess, but I’m still not sure if Morgan’s doing this on purpose or not.

So: Bellamy Blake. Is in a storeroom with a bunch of interesting stuff, meeting somebody named Colton, who of course is a giant dickhead. Anyone named Colton is automatically a dickhead, this is a law of the universe. I say that having a very dear friend named Colton, even, whom I’ve known since I was fourteen, and is a very kind, nice person, even if he does way too many drugs and lives in a trailer park, but I think he’d agree that “Colton” is the ultimate dickhead name, which is why he’s gone exclusively by the nickname “Shorty” since 2010. 

(“But Colton Haynes!” comes the inevitable comment—let me explain to you the blackface incidents of the past two years’ Halloweens, friend. He’s a problematic fave, okay.)

exhibit A: a dickhead. if it helps u can picture all the Ark guards as guests at this horrible party

So Colton insults the girls who live on Walden, which is where Bellamy and Octavia are from, because apparently they’re all ugly. Bellamy responds by thinking that Colton is no prize horse himself, which is the moment that I said to myself, “yup. No worries. You’re still gonna love this douche.”

The guard smirked, and Bellamy felt something in his chest tighten. He’d been bribing Colton for information about Octavia about her arrest, and the idiot always seemed to find twisted pleasure in delivering bad news.

Guards are dicks. This will be a common theme, and a surprisingly insightful, subtle detail about how oppressive societies work. I don’t know this for sure, of course, but I’m confident about it all the same.

“They’re sending them off today.” The words landed with a thud in Bellamy’s chest.

Another “words hurt” description. I’m not saying I haven’t used that exact sentence before in fanfiction, but I’ve used that exact sentence before in fanfiction, and Kass Morgan absolutely, one hundred percent, used to write fanfiction.

“They got one of the old dropships on G deck working.” He held out his hand again. “Now come on. This mission’s top secret and I’m risking my ass for you. I’m done messing around.”

Bellamy’s stomach twisted as a series of images flashed before his eyes: his little sister strapped into an ancient metal cage, hurtling through space at a thousand kilometers an hour. Her face turning purple as she struggled to breathe the toxic air. Her crumpled body lying just as still as—

Then Bellamy punches the guy in the face and steals his uniform. A coincidence, that Clarke also punches a dude out in her intro chapter? NOPE. TRUE LOVE, TBH. They’re punk rock soulmates.

since i've already cast paul newman as clarke, of course i'm gonna go with my girl joanne woodward as bellamy, because look at this epic bitch face. it's a match made in heaven, tbh

Also: so we use kilometers on the Ark, but we use the North American spelling of it? Okay. Sure. 

A super abrupt transition (the first section break of the book!) and suddenly we’re at the dropship launch. Bellamy has some Strong Opinions about this whole thing, calling it “completely sick” (you’re tellin’ me, dude). Then for some reason, he feels the need to re-explain the thing about how juvenile delinquents get a retrial on their eighteenth birthday, but lately they’ve just been killing everybody. 

So Bellamy’s hanging out, trying to seem inconspicuous, and listening to Jaha’s speech to the delinquents, which of course is full of crap.

“You have been given an unprecedented opportunity to put the past behind you,” the Chancellor was saying. “The mission on which you’re about to embark is dangerous, but your bravery will be rewarded. If you succeed, you infractions will be forgiven, and you’ll be able to start new lives on Earth.”

Bellamy barely suppressed a snort. The Chancellor had some nerve to stand there, spewing whatever bullshit helped him sleep at night.

*clutches Bellamy close to my chest* you little shit, I love you so much

“We’ll be monitoring your progress very closely, in order to keep you safe,” the Chancellor continued

How the fuck are you gonna do that, Jaha?? You didn’t even have a ship to send these kids down until you “managed” to get one working. You are literally so full of it.

…as the next ten prisoners filed down the ramp, accompanied by a guard who gave the Chancellor a crisp salute before depositing his charges in the dropship and retreating back up to stand in the hallway. Bellamy searched the crowd for Luke, the only Waldenite who hadn’t turned into a total prick after becoming a guard.

See? Guards are dicks. This is some pretty obvious commentary on the effects of a police state on regular people. You give a guy a gun and full license to use it without consequences, what do you think he’s gonna do? 

I’d apologize for getting political but that won’t be the last time. Deal with it, I guess. I don't care about your budgets that much.

But there were fewer than a dozen guards on the launch deck; the Council had clearly decided that secrecy was more important than security.

Couple things here: Morgan’s used “council members” with no capital, implying that the “Council” is definitely more of a concept, a unified governing body with a distinct personality. A dickhead personality, clearly. Also: secrets! Yes, this is great. Totally above board. Completely normal.

Okay, then there’s some more devastating stuff about Bellamy thinking about how they’re totally gonna murder the shit out of him if he gets caught, and a paragraph of him worrying about Octavia that makes me want to bury myself in a hole. Then, in some more backstory exposition, Bellamy explains that after their mother’s “accident,” he and Octavia had gone into the Ark-version of foster care, implying that Aurora died much earlier than she did on the show.

There was no precedent for what to do with siblings—with the strict population laws, a couple was never allowed to have more than one child, and sometimes, they weren’t permitted to have any at all—and so no one in the Colony understood what it meant to have a brother or sister.

This is the most interesting aspect of Bellamy and Octavia’s backstory, tbh, and the show really needs to take much more advantage of it than they have. The idea of siblings being such a foreign concept, and that pressure contributing to Bellamy and Octavia’s relationship, making it that much more intense? Come on. They’re the only siblings on the Ark. When they say: “you wouldn’t understand,” they mean that literally, and not how I use that word, in the Cher Horowitz sense of “this is literally so boring.” Nah, they’re just stating a fact, there.

Bellamy and Octavia lived in different group homes for a number of years, but Bellamy had always looked out for her, sneaking her extra rations whenever he “wandered” into one of the restricted storage facilities, confronting the tough-talking older girls who thought it’d be fun to pick on the chubby-cheeked orphan with the big blue eyes.

Did I write that sentence? That is a fanfiction sentence if I’ve ever seen one. The rambling, list-style with overly detailed items? Romanticized language in “tough-talking older girls” and “chubby-cheeked orphan”, how it wanders off into nothing like a lost child in the wilderness instead of actually ending. I mean, seriously, Kass Morgan, what was your username? Were you on LJ? I bet you were on LJ.

The kid was special, and he’d do anything to give her a chance at a different life. Anything to make up for what she’d had to endure.

NO.

So more shit that rips my heart out: Bellamy watches her walk down the ramp into the dropship, noticing that she looks better than she did before, and she’s leading her guard along like a puppy on a leash, because of course book!Octavia is a bad ass, and Bellamy is proud of her, oh my God, I love this relationship so so much. 

Octavia catches sight of him while Jaha is spewing some more noise-garbage, and they do a sibling telepath thing where she’s all like “bro!! what the fuck!! Don’t do anything dumb!!” and then we get this absolute GEM:

But Bellamy had been doing stupid things his whole life, and he had no intention of stopping now.

I mean, God bless. God bless that line. That line makes everything worth it.

So the stupid thing he’s referring to here is his plan to steal a guard’s gun and grab Jaha in a headlock so he can blackmail his way onto the dropship. Which of course he does, because he’s a boss, only the chapter ends before we find out whether he actually gets on the ship or not, because blah blah cheap cliffhanger.

Some things: 

• Bellamy curses a lot. I love him.
• He hates guards. There’s tons of stuff in the chapter, in addition to the lines I already quoted, about what dicks they are. I’m positive this is intentional.
• There’s a mention of a woman, who “whispers” something to Jaha (while smiling) that makes him scowl and look away. This will most definitely come up later.
• Jaha was a soldier, once, which is common enough knowledge that Bellamy knows about it and observes it in the way he "holds himself." This is...weird, and sort of fucked up, whY THE FUCK DOES THE ARK NEEDS SOLDIERS, OH MY GOD. Are guards not good enough?? WERE THERE SPACE WARS????????
• Bellamy never intends to actually shoot Jaha, which I’m sure will be important later as well. Especially if Clarke’s gonna fall in love with him, clearly he must be a Good Person in order to justify it. I’m weary of how this is all gonna go down already, I can tell.